You have'nt really lived in Delhi if you have'nt travelled by the public transport...and no, I certainly am not talking about the new plush Metro that Delhi has been blessed with lately. Its 'transport' alright and 'public' too, but that has not, unfortunately 'inspired' this little piece of 'work' ! Infact, I am referring to the very 'popular' and widely used (and if, at this point you think that it is out of an undisguised sense of affection for these masses of metal..or an attempt to ease out the strain on the already choked Delhi roads, then, unfortunately, you could'nt have been more wrong! )
Lets explain this often 'veiled' compulsion as an undesirable alternative for those with 'scarcity of adequate resources'....which, can be explained, in a much simpler way...as...ahem...empty pockets! Wow! Have'nt described myself better in ages!!!

If you have'nt ever been lucky enough to board these wonderful excuses for a roller coaster ride, then let me take you on a ride! This should be fun!

Yes, it normally is fun, to try something that you have never tasted before...but when you are at the recieving end of something as spectacular as this...then...its even...BETTER!! Don't worry...I have no intentions of dissuading you from giving it a shot.

I vividly remember the night, the other end of which I would experience my first bus ride...and that was the night I became an insomniac ! The much awaited morning or should I say the most fretted morning of my little existence eventually came. The bus arrived, in all its splendour...on time? Is that what you want to ask ? Ok, its pretty apparent you've never travelled like this before...Rule no. 1 for everything public, specially if you're talking transport..Never, Never be on time!

Alright,I finally succeeded in getting on this frightful thing...hoping I could finally sit and catch my breath again...But, surprises never cease to sieze you... Rule no. 2 for all buses...Never, Never stop the bus at the designated bus stop...We must give all our passengers adequate exercise! Make them run! This, as it turns out, dear reader, is a genuine attempt to keep you in good athletic shape and 'running condition'...pun intended.

Now, where was I..yes! I finally managed, in good time, to board the bus...and yes, I was looking for a place to sit. Place to sit? God! I was struggling to keep myself aboard!! Within no time I found myself clinging to one of the aunties....no, that was no sudden splurge of affection that I felt for her...it was infact, one last attempt to stay on board!! Imagine, my first time ever on a thing like that...and it seemed it would soon be my last! I held on to her frantically...got hold of her dress...and just managed it! That was the first time I was eternally grateful to God that He made me a girl! Had I been a boy...Boy! The thought sends jitters down my spine!! God bless the lady...!!

I soon descried an empty seat...some five seats away! Now that is what I call real luck..to find a seat to park yourself on. But, you soon realise, and with adequate experience, you can even foretell, that you're not the only bird eyeing the prey...out of nowhere half of humanity seems to descend, targetting something that you genuinly feel you deserve..after all you spotted the most covetted item of the moment! No reason for me to feel differently...and so, I made my bid...scampering my way to the trophy, before anyone else could lay their hands on it....and...Victory!!

So, I was now seated...comfortably? I think I'll skip that question...paid for my ticket...all conducters seem to have this uncanny ability to be grumpy and annoying all the time...but, its not right to be harsh on them...I'm sure if I were to stand all day in the sweltering heat in a bus,breathing gasoline, I would be worse! And that is one reason, why I pray to God, for the sake of my fellow humans, never to make me a conducter.That is a sacrifice I am willing to make..for all of you.

The buses normally take twice as much time as it would have taken you had you walked! But we want the state to earn its revenue so will make another sacrifice and continue with this rather exciting proposition and we will stay put. But, if you're thinking that this race against time is because they 'crawl' their way to their destination, then it is time to make another correction...Slow is a word totally alien to them...just as caution is. And, therefore, seat belts may turn out to be pretty useful..keep them handy..always! Incessant Praying often proves helpful to me..if you're an atheist, too bad for you.

Seeing your destination close in is probably the only thing that can soothe those pulsating nerves...its almost palliative! Also because there comes a time when the constant blabbering of the extremely polite people around you becomes unbearable, but with time and experience like I said earlier you become wonderfully immune to it...and incase you don't, I would suggest you start working towards it! Sanity pleads it.

Yes!! Finally there!! The same 'process' as you started with is how you are expected to end it too....wading through people who seem adamant not to budge...but you finally do see light...don't worry, you always do, even if it is at the next stop!!