Oh! Mother!

Planted somewhat comfortably on my bed, I think I should feel fortunate that I am alone, undisturbed. Well, it HAS been 5 minutes at least! Alone in my own house, a place always buzzing with the giggles, questions and clamor of our 2 little children. And no, they are not away on a movie night with their dad or a sleepover with their friends. They are pretty much home and that is what makes this “alone” time rather special. Umm, there was this other “S” word that came to me first. Suspicious. Why is everyone so quite? What are they up to? Why hasn’t the 3^rd world war started yet? And while I allow this suspicion to feed my brain, I hear my motherly heart palpitating with the guilt of the ‘how could I think such’ and ‘should I go and see if all is well?’ hammering inside me.

Well, such is a typical day for every mother I can assure you. Every morning we begin our day promising ourselves to be the epitome of patience and tolerance, a spiritual guru that no one and nothing can rattle. Om chants fill our serene hearts and then, the bomb drops. We come back to the reality. The promise breaks and the mother on the alarm clock schedule awakens and takes over!

Forget being the guru, you’re the boss!! Err, that’s what we like to believe anyway! Between the ‘wake up, brush your teeth, get dressed and at least eat a morsel of that delicious breakfast I made for you (while half in my sleep, thank you!), the computer that motherhood has programmed your mind to be sizzles with the stuff to accomplish in that small window called Twenty-Four Hours.

Pat your back there, ladies- we achieve almost everything on that list. Don’t we? I wonder how we do it, but we do. Even as I write this, I see my two little ones pretending the world is ending and apocalypse knocking at our door just so that they can have me play with them and not ‘waste’ time (yes, the alone time didn’t last long).

Sometimes we wish the apocalypse were really coming- seems a pretty easy thing to handle given what we manage through the day. But, if it did come, there is one place I would never hide. And that is the Restroom. Believe me, there is no rest in that room! Forget the days you read the newspaper for hours parked on that throne of yours. Press the delete button. Not happening. The moment you enter the bathroom, and are yet to even begin whatever you went in there for, there will be a frantic call for help- ‘Mommy! Come out! I need to go!! Hurry! I can’t wait!’. With time Mommies, we all learn to control everything. Even our bowels.

Growing up we are taught to eat slow and chew well. Savor every flavor, feel the goodness of every bite. One lesson we teach ourselves- the art of ‘feeding’ the kids which essentially translates into terrorizing, threatening and almost invariably playing the “I worked so hard to make dinner for you all” card (I’ve played it so often, I can deliver my monologue with theatrical eloquence even Shakespeare would be envious of). The problem there is- you worked hard to make healthy veggies and it is Mac n Cheese that they want!

After this dramatic exchange, we get down to feeding ourselves- gobbling and swallowing through fixing conflicts of gargantuan proportions of ‘he did this and she did that’ or ‘I need to go to the bathroom-now!!’ or ‘I’m suddenly feeling so sleepy, put me to bed!!’. Wonder woman is certainly an understatement.

Life is simmering with so much to enjoy and completely whacky all at the same time- each day just the tip of the ice berg. And just as our day begins with a resolution of tranquility, the day ends with one too. And a warm snuggle from my little roller coasters the icing worth doing it all over again for.