There are just two things on the entire planet that can psyche me out. A dental problem and an eye problem. And unfortunately, today, I had a rather terrible experience with the former. Some problem in my gum propelled a visit to the dentist. Well, some things you just need to do even when you would give your right arm to keep them at bay....sigh! So, there I was, on that huge chair, my mouth wide open, counting my every breath, I was so sure I would miss some!
You know I have this terrible habit of asking the obvious. Every two seconds I would ask the dentist, 'will it pain?', 'will it hurt?'...Gosh! What was I doing? Expecting the doctor to say,'No, Sweetie, it wont....u'll feel like you're having an ice cream!!' Of course it'll pain, I could almost see the doctor shouting at me, nostrils flaring at this terribly irritating girl that, unfortunatly, happened to be me! I'm sure he was itching to wring my neck and end all problems, future and present!

Well, anyway, the process began without much struggle on my part..I need to maintain some semblance of dignity, don't I? After all, I am a grown up girl, even if I have to strain myself to behave like one. However, no exaggeration here, it was indeed painful. It is only when you're sitting at that ominously enormous chair, with that glaring light staring at you, those sharp and scary looking instruments all ready to invade your mouth do you realise ( atleast I do, because I always need to learn the hard way!) why you ought to have taken better care of your motiyon jaise daant, and why you have should have used the Laal Dant Manjan...alas! Too late...you're already at the anvil, and this cobbler is surely going to set you(your teeth in this case) straight!

While I was busy cursing my luck and thinking how terribly unfortunate and wronged I was, and why the whole world must now sympathise with poor 'ol me, there came this old lady to get her teeth extracted, three of them infact! Boy! Was she scared! For the first time ever did I see someone actually shiver and shake with fear! Her bosy quivering fro head to heal, her teeth stuttering incoherently. Somehow, her pain gave me the confidence to bear my pain. Surely, it was'nt bigger than her pain? And I could'nt allow my confidence and my strength to fritter away, infact, spill it with my very own hands? No, I could not and I would not. I braved the rest of the session without as much as a grunt (ok, I'm lying here, I did continue to grunt, but far less!). Tomorrow is another similar session at the dentist's...and what am I thinking now? Like Scarlett used to say, I'll think about it tomorrow!

What, what, WHAT is wrong with Shah Rukh Khan?!! Seen the preview of his latest movie, Om Shanti Om? Muscles? And a six pack? And Shah Rukh?! Not happening for me! He's looking so aweful with that new look of his..long hair just does not suit him! He's been my favourite star for as long as I can remember. But this time, I hate to admit it, I do not like the way he's looking. He's started looking so old and haggardly now, and that is despite those crisp muscles and that toned body. Or maybe it is because of that! It just does'nt seem to be him anymore. I liked the SRK who had that gullible, charming look on his face...this supposedly rugged look, with those disarmingly long tresses...nah!!

We are the Champs!!

Wow! India won the T20 World Cup! And what a nerve racking match that was! I am the last person on earth to watch a cricket match, and with the kind of frenzy with which I actually saw this one, forget it! But it was after all the World Cup Final, and that too against Pakistan! 3 hrs of cricket that just could not be missed!

And finally, everybody in India is happy. Our cricketers are back to being the demigods that they always become after any victory, and the public is back to eulogising them. I so wish this fervour, this devotion was not as ephemeral as it always proves to be though...a loss in a match is all it takes to turn the tables. The fans who are going gaga over Dhoni and his spectaular play today are those very protesters of yesterday who had created such a furore at his residence when India had lost the World Cup, rather miserably as it indeed was. Public memory is'nt short, its non existent. It lives in today and yesterday never existed.

Well, well, well...all said and done, and all that will be said and done tomorrow, the wonderful fact of the day is that India is the World Champion! And its raining cash for all the players! 2 million dollars! A crore for Yuvraj Singh, flats by Sahara! Pour in a couple more lakhs by the respective State Govts and you have a team that not only won the Cup and numerous accolades, but also a spilling bank balance! Phew!
When you're a sportsperson, more particularly a cricketer in India, either you have it all, or you have nothing at all. And for today, we have it all! Chak de India...that's a call every Indian heart is resounding with today! And Chak diya it is!

Can she live??


Saw this program on TV a couple of days back, and some for reason, have not been able to get it out of my mind...its not the most pleasant of features I have seen in a long time unfortunately. It was about people trapped in unfulfilling and unhappy marriages…was mostly about women, and being one myself its always easier to identify with something like that. This program showed this story about a woman who was trapped in an unhappy marriage, not looked after by the husband, not even looked at would be more apt though. “An object of use” is how the woman described herself…and one did not need any corroboration to support her point…sorrow written large on her face…there is so much that women face in their lives, marriage and beyond. Children, the prime, and sometimes the only reason why these women forced themselves to stay in relationships that would only suffocate and asphyxiate them for life. Life, if there was any!

Some, however, were strong. They preferred to come out of such tangles. And I am in awe of such women. Why? For obvious reasons. Divorce, not really the word our so-called society looks at with much respect. Disdain, that’s the only expression I have ever seen on any one’s face when confronted with the word.
Forget the misery of the woman who was caught in that marriage. Forget that she too has a right to a happy marriage, a satisfying life. Forget that she too has a right to another option if the first did not work out. We, most shamefully, are that very society and we gossip about her, make fun of her, and find fault in her. ‘She must have been too headstrong for the husband maybe, maybe she was too career oriented…must not have cared for the husband well….whatever it was, must have been her fault’. Haven’t we heard these lines too often for our own comfort? The women ought to be at fault if she had the guts to ask for separation and divorce. Why can’t we respect her right to choice. The choice to say No. Say No, to ignominy, to abuse and suffering? And say Yes to a life where she can look at herself with self esteem and pride, see herself as an individual and not merely as an accessory, an object ?

Why do people make such a big deal about Divorce? No one wants to marry a divorcee, worse still if it’s the first time the man is stepping into matrimony? Does it make a woman any less worthy than she would have been had she never made that one mistake, that one mistake of marrying the man she shouldn’t have?
Aren’t we tormenting further a woman who has already been subjected to enough pain and suffering? Why must we bring our archaic thoughts, prejudices, whims and fancies in someone else’s way? Why can’t we, the society, just let people live their own lives??

Lord of the Jinx!!


Is there anything called a Jinx? If there is, do I have one? maybe, I do. Nah! Nothing big..I dont fall into the waterhole when I'm actually looking for a place to sit...nothing that extreme has happened yet ( I don't mind counting my chickens before they actually hatch either if that saves my face even for this one fleeting second where you just visualised the portly me falling into that abyss!)...ummm..so, rediverting our attention back from that little diversion, we come back to where we began..Jinxes! For a lot of people, their luck is jinxed....now, what I wonder is, if you really do have luck, where is the scope for the jinx?? For, is'nt jinx actually the lack of luck?? Errr....did I just invite the spider to weave his net of confusion over me?? I think I did, but then, nothing unusual about it...always do!

But, discrediting the credibility of the Jinx would be to discredit half the incredible credentials of my own life (got that? No worries, neither did I!)! My Jinx, did I just say? Sure did. I absolutely love making plans, for everything...and grandiose plans they are. Hours, maybe days, weeks even, if I have nothing better to do goes before I actually execute an action....it all seems pretty neat, does'nt it? You make a plan, sit over it for weeks, and execute it, with elan and ease....Ah!! That is where we spoke wayyy too soon!! Execute, did one just say? Terminate is more the word actually. It is actually a record that I can proudly claim to possess!! Plan, plan as I must...it must, as a routine, rain on that very same day, at the very same hour. And if the Gods are generous for the day, the Demons can't resist you....some obstacle, some untoward occurance, and my plan(s) go up in the air, for the biggest toss imaginable!!

It's a lesson I have been condemned to learn more often that I would have wanted to. But I am a happy soul, and I'm already making my next plans...its September and New Year is'nt too far away!!

Am probably at my depressed best today...have'nt heard even a single good news since morning..one after the other, there has been a spate of news that bids tragedy and sadness...woke up to a terrible dream in the night too...have'nt been able to sleep a wink since then...I wonder when this day will end...I just want it to end!!

I'm slightly annoyed today, not with anyone, not even myself for that matter. I'm just cross at the way we tend to think sometimes, and am even more cross as to the way we let people treat us! My mother was just telling me about this friend of hers who asked her daughter-in-law to be to undergo some beauty, fairness therapy before she got married! For me, nothing can be more insulting and disparaging than to be told to somehting like that!! I'm surprised the girl in question did'nt even object to it..I would certainly have!

Deeper down, these are manifestations of the archaic and fossilised undertones that our society lives with. Honestly speaking, I find these fairness creams advertisements denigrating too...after all, have we tried to delve into what the essence of these ads actually is? All of us have, infact. This one ad that I saw had this girl looking desperately for a job, but as expected, she was'nt 'fair' and therefore, the job evaded her...and then, Heavens beckoned her to use this cream and Viola! The world was at her feet! Gosh! Are we still living in the 21st century is what I sometimes wonder! And then, an even more disdainful way to sell the same product is to show how men will run after you once you use their cream. I'm startled, and amazed at the sheer profanity of the whole thought!

Is that the only thing a woman is worth? Enticing men and opportunities using an artificially acquired beauty (if at all!). Specially in the world of today, when women are so confident of their abilities? Turn to any news channel and you'll know what I mean. Pretty, presentable faces, yes, lots of them. But, when we watch a Barkha Dutt, do you see what she looks like or do you see what she delivers? Or the many correspondents smeared with sweat and dirt, absolutely unmindful of what they look like? Would we accept a stuttering girl making a fool of herself no matter how gorgeous she was?? There you go, you have the answer right at your doorstep!

I'm not fair myself, but I find this antediluvian fixation with 'fairness' rather annoying, and it leaves me flabbergasted! For one moment, you feel that the way women are visualised is changing, and the very next, you feel you've been in a time warp ever since mankind came into existence. It is such an audacious, abrasive thought and I see no reason why any sane person should not question it.